UZH, ("ooh-tsett-hah") or Ulrich Zasius Haus, is the name of my student res building here in Freiburg. Here's a list of the personalities I've encountered while living in my dorm.
1. Herbert
One of the first UZH characters to make his presence known. He is what made the annoying gurgling sound in April's mini-fridge all the time.
2. Bug Girl
I heard about a girl on the ninth floor who keeps a bunch of bugs, like walking sticks, as pets in her room. Technically that's not allowed, but it doesn't really bother anyone, so whatever.
3. The Creeper
It seems that there's always a creeper, no matter where you go. Everyone warned everyone about this guy, and luckily I had the pleasure of meeting him only once. He lives on the 11th floor, and when April first arrived here, that's where she lived too. Apparently he always tries to get English-speaking girls to help him edit his letters or essays or whatever, and just makes people very uncomfortable in general. For example, when April first met him in their common kitchen, he introduced himself and as she reached for a handshake, he pulled her into a big icky hug. Then offered her some grapes, while he rubbed his belly. Then tried to give her a hug-goodbye, but she resisted and said, uhhh we don't really do that in Canada...
Haven't seen him or heard of him for a really long time now.
4. Intense African Guy
This guy tried to have a deep conversation with me at April's floor dinner (the one with the Kirschwasser) and seemed to think I didn't talk enough (seriously??....) and should learn to be open. Then he started going on and on about world politics and health care and society, except...somehow none of it made any sense. And then he just kept saying I should learn to "be free." It was so odd and really uncomfortable. It was like running through mud, trying to get out of this conversation. Avoided him like the Plague until he moved back home.
5. Housecoat Girl
This girl was from Russia and lived on my floor during first semester. She was always, always wearing her blue housecoat. I saw her in normal casual clothes probably about 4 times within 7 months.
6. Texas Girl
She's from Texas (duh), but also has a strong connection to her German heritage. One time I was in the kitchen washing my dishes and she was talking to another floormate, who was from India. He said he'd been watching American news and was confused about to whom they were referring when they said "Native Americans". "Because you are a native American, aren't you?" And Texas girl said, well, yes, but they're really talking about the Indians, you know?...Which he didn't understand because he's Indian. Obviously. So Texas girl tried to explain, "they meant the people who live in teepees, the natives, the, umm...the--the red men!" I kid you not. So I looked over and said, "the Aboriginal peoples?" And the Indian guy was like, "Ohhhhhh!"
7. Mr. Rack
Oh, Mr. Rack. (Don't worry, there aren't anymore inanimate objects on the list.) This is my laundry rack that I found abandoned in the stairwell. He was broken, but was still able to stand, although only very slanted. But I needed a free laundry rack, so this was perfect. I needed him and he needed me! That's how I got my lopsided rack.
8. Fake Irish Guy
This guy's story is a little long, so bear with me. When I first met him, he was eating spaghetti with his friend, with whom he was speaking German. His German was really good, though I thought he had a bit of a dialect, maybe from the south. After his friend left, the two of us were doing dishes so we chatted a bit about beer and Jägermeister, and he told me his name (which is not a typical German name) and that he was from Michigan.
Another time, he and his friend were both in the kitchen again, but this time Fake Irish Guy was speaking English. But with what sounded like an Irish accent. When I told April about it later, we developed a couple of theories. Maybe he was German but lived in Michigan, but studied in Ireland for a while and ended up picking up the accent there. Or maybe he was Irish and just happened to speak really good German and studied in the States. Or maybe he was actually American and was just speaking in an Irish accent just for fun... (Hence, our new nickname for him, Fake Irish Guy.)
Another time, April was in my kitchen and said that Fake Irish Guy asked her if she'd ever tried an Irish coffee before, and if she could tell him if the coffee he made tasted right. (It did.)
I heard him speaking English a few more times, but not with an Irish OR a German accent, but with an American one. And he was saying to someone that he hadn't practiced much German that week. Later he asked me if I knew the German word for "vegetable peeler" (der Schäler).
So, the mystery ended up being solved. Fake Irish Guy is American, from Michigan, in Freiburg studying German, and can do a pretty good Irish accent. We became buds, quasi.
9. Bruce and Jimbo
A few new people moved in on our floor when second semester rolled around, two of which are Chinese, Lee and...I can't remember what his name is!
And neither could the two Americans (Texas girl and Fake Irish Guy). Which is why they decided to rename both Chinese guys. Lee is also known as Bruce. Because of Bruce Lee, obviously. And the other guy is also known as Jimbo. Because his actual name sounds slightly similar. I used to know his actual name, but since they started referring to him as Jimbo I completely forgot.
10. That One Construction Worker
From October until the end of May (or was it June?), there was construction in our building, since it needed new pipes put in (they hadn't been renewed since the 1960s or something like this). So starting at 7am until about 4pm every single weekday (almost) we all put up with an unbelievable amount of noise that made us super cranky, but with good reason, seeing as we could hardly hear ourselves think or each other talk, let alone get a good sleep. Just remembering it now makes it difficult to describe without just...swearing. A lot. (Anyone who wrote a complaint to Studentenwerk--the student office, which is in charge of the residences--got a month of free rent. This allowed me to afford to go to Amsterdam. I guess the noise thing was kinda worth putting up with then.)
ANYWAY.
There was this one construction worker that we all saw fairly regularly. He spoke with a very strong dialect (I could not understand a single word), and always teased Mike (from Toronto) when he saw him. Once April saw the construction worker in the elevator, and he was talking away to her, and all she understood was "Fussball".
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